That is the question. As of yet, I don't have an answer. I mentioned in my last blog about my affectionately called 'war room' and 'battle plans'. They are the ideas and thoughts, to-do lists, and more; concern moving my business online for the next few months. Nestled in amongst the plans for the next phase of my website development. It is all going on.
My head was spinning with all. I got to a point last week where I couldn't see the wood for the trees. Panic was creeping in, just around the edges, but I could feel its presences. I didn't like it. But, here's the odd thing, I am not panicked about not having work, well not at the moment. I was panicking about how I was going to do all the things my mind was telling me I needed to do because of the crisis.
I've listened to webinars by a marketing lady called Claire, and she calls this her 'monkey mind'. I get what she means. But mine feels more like the organ grinder, turning the handle, over and over again. Any of you recognise the feeling. It starts in my head but often hits me physically lower down - restless, unsettled. Something gnawing at me. Enough!
I have felt this before; I know where this leads. It is a black hole that can be hard to get out of. This time though, I spoke about it, said it out loud, straight away. I took back control. Focused on one thing and put that in motion. I will then focus on another job, and so on, one at a time. That's why I did the 'battle plans' to get the stuff out of my head.
It hasn't quite worked, not yet, but it is getting better. I do well with visual stuff, things written down, so it suits me to do it this way. My new highlighter pens arrived a few days ago I can't wait to try them. Colour will make the 'plans' looks so much better (oops there goes my organiser's mind again).
Overwhelm is a funny thing. We know what it is, but often we can't see it coming, and we don't know it has arrived until it is well and truly here. It is stealthy. I am sure many of you are feeling it too. Just breathe. Go on. Inhale. Exhale.
Fear and overwhelm will tell you, you can't do this or that, your not good enough or capable enough, but that is not the truth. The truth is you are capable of more than you know. Resilient, resourceful and amazing. It is a good mantra.
Fear is telling me I can't teach my subjects online. I can't do videos or webinars, and they won't work. But fear is just a noise, a sensation, a moment. I can choose to do it, decide to give it a go and see what happens. It might not work, but it also might. You'll have to wait and see.
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